Thursday, August 27, 2009

from LALA to GAGA...

時間過得真快。一眨眼又快到九月了。
( 對啦,九月份是大嘴的‘神誕‘啦。;p )
每年生日都沒有怎樣的特別慶祝或搞作。
今年想來點不同的。
想想看。今年誰最紅?應該是那個GAGA女人吧?
好,就照著她醬辦。希望我的前途也會醬紅。

隆重价紹,2009您最期待見到的人(也可能是您的惡夢啦 ;p ) :


而她的成名曲( POKER FACE )也唱得街知巷問。
那我也拿它來玩一玩,當做是我的生日願望。
希望你們會幫我一起實現。

Let's play a game. ( or shall i say, this is what i wished for my birthday )
I'll try to capture as many pictures of the HOOKER FACE as possible. There will be a number which i set to hit by END of SEPTEMBER. Therefore, i need your help. You can either send in your own HOOKER FACE picture, OR the HOOKER FACE pictures of your friends. THE MORE THE BETTER!!!
( Calling all CAMWHORES out there, this is the time for you to show us your WHORE face ...LOL ;p )

But remember, there is a STANDARD POSE for it :
Put 1 finger in your mouth and show me your most SEXY/SLUTTY expression.
( Refer to the picture below ~ MINUS THE MASK )

Kindly send all the pictures and names to HOOKERFACE2009@YAHOO.COM
I will try to upload the pictures received as frequent as possible.
Let's hope that i can hit the target.


Thanks for helping me fulfilling my wish.
And let me have the chance to know more people.
謝謝你們然我夢想成真。感恩噢。

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

我的另纇童言童語。。。

你們幾歲才開始罵髒話呢?還是你從來都不罵的?

我家的家教還算蠻嚴的。小時後是不可以說那些不三不四的話。不然就會掌嘴。但小還子嘛,當然會偷偷在同學面前罵。還很聰明的用很‘高招‘也很‘無聊‘的方法來罵。就比如說 :

”XX,你的姑姑叫你快點回家吃飯。“

“ 你的銀行有沒有收到幾百塊?“

以小孩子的level,有沒有很creative咧?


你做小孩時,有沒有做過醬的事?
又或著有沒有一些特殊的言語是你們自己才明白的呢?

猜猜看。什麼是:" OBiKiKu " ?
... hehehe.... only me and my sisters know what is it..;p

Monday, August 24, 2009

你的尺度有多寬?

之前有和一班舊同事聚餐。有說有笑,有laser有屌,很熱鬧。

說著說著,有人提起一位舊同事嫁了給意大利人。也在那定居了。大家就開始討論起自己的另一半的接授度有多寬。想想看,我所認識的人,有兩個嫁德國人,有的嫁美國黑人,也有的娶了法國人。但如果可以選,我還是比較喜歡亞洲人。而且還是黃皮膚的亞洲人。

當他們問我為什麼不選歐洲或白人呢?我只回答了三個字 :

“我怕。。。“鬼“。

哈哈。有沒有get到?


If given a choice, what is your limitation on the race of your other half? I'm just curious on your choice, nothing to do with race discriminations.
WORLD PEACE ;)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

片刻。美麗

黃耀明有越夜越美麗,
蔡依林有越慢越美麗,
而我是越blurr越美麗。

每天早上醒來,都很興奮。照照鏡子,看到的是雙眼balance(沒有大小眼)還有那深深的雙眼皮。這一切都是限於在剛起身還在blurr和洗臉前。但一洗完臉,就。。。好花不常開,好景不常在。。。

什麼的眼睛和雙眼皮都不見啦。剩下的只有那大小眼!真的希望那一舜間可以久一點。還是我不應該洗臉呢?


你剛睡醒和出們時,臉部會不會有分別?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

你直直走。。。

Imagine你跟朋友在電話裡給directions :

你直直走。然後轉左。有個round-a-bout。再彎右。就在你的前面。。。

請問:
在你講的當兒,你的手會不會跟著轉左轉右呢?

I have to admit that i am one of them who talk and do action at the same time. It's just to make sure that he/she really get it ( i thought la ). But how can they see what we do when we are talking thru phone rite?

Some people is even worse. The even do the open door and go down from the car action... luckily didn't do press doorbell action...LOL

( 你直直走,看到有車就撞過去。。。)

So, are you same as me?
And how serious are you? ;p

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Lose my breast !

" Danny Danny, 可以教我LOSE MY BREAST無?"

Huh? I was shocked for 5 seconds, then burst out laughing.

It happened few years back when i was still doing shows. During the rehersal, a girl came to me and asked me the above question. Still blurr?
FYI, we were suppose to do a number using Destiny's Child's song ~ LOSE MY BREATH !

有渣到無?

你有沒有講錯話的經驗?
我咧。。。那個The man in the AYAMAS也算托衰家咯。


搞到醬,想不LOSE都不能啦。哈哈。

I'm your forever GOD !

曾經有人對我說過,他很羨慕我。因為我可以過著我要的生活,做我喜歡的工作。不盲目的跟隨潮流,也不容意被物資誘惑。經常laser身邊的人,但他們還是很樂意的跟我在一起。可能是我比較樂天派,所以跟得我多也比較不容意emo。他說很喜歡我醬的性格,很崇拜我。簡直把我當“神“來拜。(聽了當然好像仙醬的飄起來。哈哈)

重點來囉。。。

雖然有人會封我為神,但我也知道,我醬的性格也會得罪很多人。
喜歡我的人就當我神醬拜。討厭我的人。。。應該是希望我快點上神臺
哈哈。


如果現在假假醬要你為我封個神號,那會是什麼神咧?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Talk straight-straight

一向來都不喜歡那些講話耍太極的人。還是有話直說比較好,比較真。但以前在代表學校出外辯論時,常常都會講出很多又假,又不實際,很不像我的話。為了就是能在評盤那,爭取多一點分數。

開始前一定要講一些有的沒的來捧大家和裝飾自己一下下。。。

Yang Mulia Tuan Pengurusi Majlis, Para Hakim yang pasti tidak akan terpesong dari paksi keadilannya, Barisan Pembangkang yang dihormati tetapi tidak digeruni, Guru Besar, guru-guru dan para hadirin yang hadir untuk menjadi saksi kepada kebenaran. Berdirinya saya di sini adalah untuk ..........

講完了以上的一大串廢話,才能進主題。還好我不是回教徒。不然前面還要加個 。。。

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh...

接這就是講重點。心情好的時候,中間還可以穿插些pantun來諷刺對方。。。

Memaku dulang daun serpih,
Mengata orang anda yang lebih.

或著。。。

Ikan gelama ikan tenggiri,
Rasanya enak dimasak kari,
Usahlah anda terlalu memuji,
Masuk bakul angkat sendiri,

發表完了還要嘮些pantun來送自己推下。醬才比較有型。。。

Gendang-gendut tali kecapi,
Izinkan saya mengundurkan diri.

以上的一切一切,如果在發生在我們生活上,不覺的很累嗎?
還是你就是醬的一個人?


好啦,我承認諷刺人的那part還蠻爽的。哈哈。

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

我擠,我擠,我擠擠擠。

當穿起skinny jeans來再看不出skinny時,就會有以上的現像。

天啊!我真的越來越失守了。體重和身行每天都在不斷的攀升。

那天本來以為要穿得美美去看話劇。誰知道,換了三四件skinny jeans都覺得好像很不好看。以前穿了還有瘦退的效果。現在那雙肉退把jeans撐到緊緊的,很難看。怕穿出去給那些賤嘴笑我out date。說什麼鬼節都要來了,還拿著那端午節的粽子出街。

最後,我唯有很不VOGUE的穿了件cargo pants出去。醬才能把我那雙肉腿cover掉。再醬下去,我遲早只能包sarung了。


不知到是不是聽Eason的歌太多。King Kong裡有唱 :“成28吋大俾....“。
現在“唔方唔俾“囉。
(賴得就賴。哈哈。)

How lah weiii..... this time really jia-lat liao..:(

Sunday, August 16, 2009

一人有一首'喊'歌

別看我外表冷莫,其實我是很感性的一個人。再細小的東西或事情,如果一hit到我的point,我就會變成‘淚人‘。也許好像別人說的:我的哭點很夠力低。

Got invited by KK to watch a stage play " That's the way I like it " at Central Market in conjunction of SEKSUALITI MERDEKA last Friday. He was one of the actor. I like the enviroment cos it was different from other theatre that i've been to. It's smaller, closer and more comfortable where everyone sat on the chairs or floor, close to each other. And the feeling of WE ARE FAMILY is really there. :)





看著看著,突然他們用了莫文蔚的‘忽然之間‘來做background music。天啊!我整身突然毛了起來。我平時聽到這首歌都會很感動。再加上那play的劇情,我beh tahan了。於是,他們在台中央演他們的故事。我就在我的椅子上做我的drama。還是不可以出聲的那種,因為要保持vogue的型像。哈哈。真的很幸苦咧。要看又要做。。。。。
BTW, i bought a T-shirt to support the event :)


想知道,有沒有一首歌,是你現在一聽就很感動或想哭的呢?

Friday, August 14, 2009

現在的孩子。。。

Is it me or the children nowadays are more matured than their actual age?

I came back from gym around 9.30pm. Bumped into this small malay girl ( around 7 or 8 years old ) in her Hello kitty pyjamas at the lift. She saw me and she smiled to me. I smiled back. What a daring and polite girl, i thought. Once the lift arrived , we went in. She offered to press the button for me. Very helpful girl.

As the lift go up, she looked at me and started to ask me some questions :

Her : Baru balik kerja? ( not even call me abang or uncle, ok? ;p )

Me : Err... yelah. ( smile, but a bit shocked )

Her : Kerja mana?

Me : Err... KL. ( still in the shock )

The lift doors opened and she went out, saying bye bye to me.

Hmmm.... why am i shocked?
Cos don't you think that she is a bit underage to have such conversation with me? I mean those questions are normally asked by adults who have nothing to talk about, so just pretend to PR a bit.


真是人小鬼大。
其實在我6和4歲的侄兒姪女也有這些現像。
真可怕。 怕明年他們來跟我談politics。
還是那句話 :小孩應該做回小孩做的事。
哈哈。

Thursday, August 13, 2009

黃蜂腰, 曱甴肚?

我都有啊!不過係唔同geh部位。

我有‘黃蜂嘴“~夠毒!
同埋“曱甴腳“~動作夠快!
問你死未?;p

老鼠藥枇霜,
黃蜂尾後針,
兩樣皆不毒,
最毒丹尼心。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!

大嘴一出,誰以爭風?



p/s : LALA月終於到了尾聲。謝謝大家沒有被那些LALA歌嚇到而不來看我了。雖然我知道很多人很不爽,但忍一忍,還是會過去的嘛。最後想祝大家 :

LA到功成。
LA想事成。
萬事如LA。
一LA發財。
LALA萬歲!!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The spirit that never dies...

Alkisah ... sebuah cerita,
Mengenai .. HANTU GEMUK CINA !!!!!

她又回來了!
好像很久沒有‘肥妹鬼‘的故事了是吧?
因為她很久沒來煩我了。
但最近她又上身了。

這幾個禮拜,after class她都會留下來‘跟‘我‘聊‘一下。
現在她不再約我吃飯了( 阿彌佗佛 )。
反而是跟我講她朋友的事(卡那賽)。
每次都乘我在收mic時來攻激我。我也就笑笑膚淺一下。
我連她都沒興趣了,那還會在呼她身邊的人啊?
人家愛屋及烏,而我是避屋及烏。

真命苦。。。
有誰可以幫我捉鬼收妖啊?


如果你有來Pavilion的TrueFitness,我可以解紹給你認識認識一下。哈哈。

Monday, August 10, 2009

迴光返照。。。

Do you believe in that?

( 名字和地點是假的。因為有人會看,然後打小報告 )
There's this Ms Lily in my 'office' who is well known for her bitchiness. Most of us will try to stay away from her as far as possible. So normally there's nothing for us to talk a bout when we meet.

Few days ago when i went to the office, the Manager quickly pull me aside. " Danny, how la? How la? " What how? Then only i know that the Management has decided to FIRE Lily ( due to her badmouth ) by the end of the day, and they want the Manager to be the executer. I know it is a very tough job, cos Lily is not a easy to handle person. I just wished her good luck.
Then i went in the pantry. There she was, Lily, extremely friendly : " Hi dear, how are you today? "

Hmm... although i am not close with her, but i suddenly felt guilty and sorry for her. But i am more surprised to see her, acting so friendly that day...


I know that i got high chances to bump into her... and i'm prepared to listen to her , bitching about her 'ex-company'... ;(

Sunday, August 9, 2009

So u think u can TAHAN?

My Saturdays ROUTINE.
After class, lunch at MJ CAFE.
Nasi lemak with extra sambal is a MUST.
( no extra charge for extra sambal ;p )
Normally people will stare at me cos the plate is very RED.
But i don't care, cos that's the EXACT way i like to have it.
The SATISFACTION comes from my red and thick lips.
SYIOOOOK !!!

So u think u can TAHAN the pedas-ness?

( This is a real pic taken on 8/8/09 at MJ Cafe, Jaya 33 )

人家sambal撈飯,我是飯撈sambal。
得閒試一試,你一定好中意。

Big Mouth is trying to look for FRIENDS who love spicy food.
Let's meet up for a PEDAS meal once a while. :)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Speedy Mouth

有沒有試過當你駕著車,突然間旁邊無端端殺出個motor,把你嚇死。那motor也不管你,飛快的走了。這時候,你通常會怎樣?
Honk他?閃他高燈?又或著一時口快的咒他撞車?

以我‘死淨吧口‘的性格,應該不難猜出我的還擇吧?( but i don't really mean it, ok? ;p )
誰叫我口比手快?急起來只好用口囉。我還試過給人家嚇到,然後用口來honk他!朋有看了都笑死了。因為我的樣子超白痴。

我口比手快,你呢?


還好我沒用口來打signal。tik tak tik tak 。。。。。哈哈。

Friday, August 7, 2009

卡你的通

上回說到我被人家笑說像Elmo。
但我想了想,好像還是不夠貼切。
如果要我自己找個卡通人物來形容自己,我想會是。。。


對!就是SPONGEBOB。
大嘴吧,沒身材,四方臉,頭大大,還有腳短短。
還不夠像嗎?

那你想你會是那個卡通人物呢?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I'm OUT-DATED !?

跟在這motor後面大概有5分鐘。那弟弟的姿勢都沒變過。怜願酸著雙手‘頂‘那helmet,也不要戴在頭上。你猜猜看為什麼?



a) 他怕helmet會壓扁那set好好了的‘型仔‘頭髮,

b) 他是‘醒獅隊‘的人,正在練習‘頂‘獅頭,又或著是

c) 我out-dated了。這才是現在年輕人戴helmet的正確方法?

還是你有別的解答?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

我不可笑!

Some people look nice when they smile. And they look even cuter when they laugh.But not me. Sigh.

自己知自己事。
When i don't smile, i looked so lan-si and fierce.
So i try to smile as often as possible, so that i'll look slightly friendlier.
But i never like myself when i laugh, cos i will end up looking like ELMO.
Who's ELMO?


My friend always tease that i got more teeth than normal people, cos my mouth is BIGger. And i normally will tell them that i got 42.:p

我知道我不可笑。
那你呢?可不可笑?

Monday, August 3, 2009

早起的鳥兒很想吃!

不知道你會不會和我一樣有醬的問題。
就是每次如果‘特別‘早起身(教早課,搭早班機,清明掃墓,etc)的話,肚子一定會不舒服。
那不舒服的原因只有兩個可能:

A)肚子會很夠力餓。不管吃再多,也好像填不滿醬。
今早教早課(7am),去時吃了面包,回時也吃面包。但一到家還是很餓,所以又打包了nasi lemak來吃。

B)會死命拉肚子。不管有沒有吃東西,都一樣拉。但如果沒吃的話,會拉得更力害。
不吃也能拉?很多人都很羨慕我醬。上面沒進,下面又拼命出。一定很容意減肥的。我只能說 :我也很想囉!


Now you know why i always wake up late huh?
Just to avoid from eating too much...LOL.
I know i know, lame excuse...;p

Sunday, August 2, 2009

True colors ...

雖然一向來都是過著彩色的生活,但偶而也會羨慕別人的黑白日子。
簡簡單單,無需考慮太多無聊彩色的問題。
黑就黑,白就白,不會有選錯色的煩腦。
也不用但心顏色太大膽另別人不能接授。


但無論如何,我還是會很樂觀和積極的過我五彩賓紛的生活。
因為我知道,只有我才能為我自己的生活上色。
你也是一樣。:)

I love my life, and i love my style.
If you love me, please love me ALL.
Or else we can just stay away and mind our own business.
Cheers.