My very own FEAR FACTOR

OK, OK... Those who are close with me knew about this.
For your info, i am extremely scared of a type of animal called GALUS DOMESTICA ( scientific name )... or in another word : CHICKEN. Yup, live chicken of cos. Not sure why, but i just dare not go close them and never ever expect me to catch them. You'll see me act strangely if there's chicken somewhere near me. Maybe that's why i always go KFC or McD for their ayam gorengs.... revenge-lah konon.. 大嘴復仇記..LOL

記得以前爸爸賣肉骨茶的時候，最怕的就是吧殺的賣雞佬叫外賣。因為他的檔口很窄。兩旁有幾十只活生生的雞在籠裡。中間的行道只有三尺寬。每當我送外賣去那，我都會像supermodel上身，走路超直的。而且動做都會超快。很怕突然間有只雞發瘟從籠裡飛出來。

可能我的‘動做飛快‘和catwalk都是當時練出來的吧。哈哈。


I actually still having goose bumps looking at the pictures of chicken... GELI lah...
說真的，你敢赤手捉雞嗎？

Look See Look See

那天教完class，跟兩位姐姐談了一下 ：

Ａ姐 ：Danny，衛塞節要不要在我的佛堂點燈？

Ｂ姐 ：哈？Danny是Buddhist噢。看你的臉還以為你是Christian呢。


Can we really tell everything just by looking at someone's face or how he look? A lot of people commented that i have a very strong 'WET' look. ( WET = clubbing ) But the truth is, i have not been clubbing for at least 5 years. And there's more than 3 people thought that i am a hairstylist, based on how i look. Yeah rite, rambut kembang setaman..... LOL



Now, after admiring my not-so-perfect portrait, can you please guess WHAT ANIMAL THAT SCARES ME THE MOST?

ANSWER : ... ( soon )

上廁所的學問

剛剛打電話給朋友，但是是他的室友接。那室友只說了四個字 ：

“他在大便。“

嚇密？我楞了一下才蓋電話。覺得他的回答很好笑。我通常都只會答 ‘在廁所‘或‘去toilet‘。
以下三種說法如果要你選，那個會是最文雅（１）到最不好聽 （３）呢？

~ 開大
~ 柯屎 （ Cantonese ）
~ 炸東京
~ 或著你聽過更‘夠力‘的講法

1)
2)
3)


讓我們一起來學習如何很vogue的上廁所。哈哈。

第一次後的另外一次

Got addicted to re-write lyrics.. so wrote this classic LALA song for him to sing ...
FYI, this song was actually aired on the last day of that segment... and i was told that the system was jammed that day due to too many SMSes sent by listener...so, enjoy....



Sammi ~ 煞科 ( Original )
Yammi ~ Bas Mini ( Lyrics by Big Mouth, Rap by KK )

我的第一次。。。

有聽９８８的人都應該知到Ｋ６。早前的唱鬼歌單元獲受好評。
但不說你不知, 那單元我也很慶幸的能插一腳。
以下歌是我改詞的。


Pussy Cat Dolls ~ Don't Cha ( Original )
Lousy Cat Dog ~ Jangan ( Lyris by Big Mouth )



Jolin ~ 舞孃( Original )
Tolin ~ Showgirl ( Lyrics by Big Mouth )

想不到我第一個on air的作品會是讓好朋友來唱。
沒事，想跟大家share一下而已。
順便promote他們的單元。

p/s : i totally understand if u feel annoyed by them..cos lots of people love them.. and those who hate them also quite a lot ...LOL

男兒口大殺四方

I am a serious murderer. I kill almost everything and anything. I used to have a potted palm tree in my living room.... dried up within 6 months. I was asked to my by my ex-housemate to take care for his pet fish for one night, ONE NIGHT ONLY... died the next morning... cause of dead is still a mystery...
Now the only living thing ( besides me ) in my house is the bamboo leaf ( 觀音竹 ) next to Madam Kwan ( 觀音姐姐 ). Luckily got blessings from Her, if not, sure die one.;p

And just when i thought that i am bad in taking care of things with life, i found something ... it seems that i under estimated myself ! I've upgraded my level from killing living creatures ONLY to harmful to BOTH living and non-living creatures...LOL

Was doing some spring cleaning just now and found something that have similarities on it.....
my piggy key chain and the angel ornament. Both BEHEADED !!!


Left : The scented black piggy key chain that i bought from Japan few years back... not sure where is the head.:(

Right : An angel ornament, souvenir from my friend when he visited Prague 2 years ago. Check out the original packaging box and the actual item.. something missing rite? ;p
Oh btw, the potted plant behind is FAKE !! LOL

殺氣重的我總是去到那就殺到那。
也好。不然，我也不會在ＣＮＹ的聚會裡大殺四方。
見人殺人，見鬼殺鬼。哈哈。
有誰想給我殺殺看？

Guilty or Not Guilty ?

心直口快，有罪嗎？
不戴面具，有罪嗎？
我行我素，有罪嗎？
不想交際，有罪嗎？
臉不友善，有罪嗎？
動做飛快，有罪嗎？
不跟潮流，有罪嗎？


以上的種種案例，罪名都成立嗎？
如果成立，那又應該怎樣判呢？



Just trying to improve myself...

你是什麼座？

昨晚朋友心情不好打電話來跟我哭訴。話說他和Ａ是一對，但和Ｂ又有點愛昧的關係。但最近Ｂ對他很冷淡，也聽說Ｂ有了新歡。所以很失落，覺得好像被耍被騙醬。

“可能他對我真的沒什麼，可能只是我一相情願的以為我們在愛昧。人都是犯賤的，有了一個還想要跟別的。如今他有了新歡也不跟我說，好像在騙我醬。有點失落。你知道啦，獅子座是很好勝的嘛。。。。。。“

一開始我還很用心的聽，但越聽越不爽。
什麼人都是犯賤的。。。。。
什麼獅子座都是好勝的。。。。。
你不覺的這些都是自己給自己的借口而已嗎？因為人都是犯賤的，所以就可以不停的去追求不一樣的東西？因為獅子座都是好勝的，所以讓自己把這些事看的那麼重？還把子己弄得醬辛苦醬累。

其實我是很不認同那些依星座行事的人。一切都好像很理所當然醬。皮氣壞，暴燥，就說是星座。懶散或高傲，也是因為星座的關係。我覺得那都一對廢話！明知皮氣不好就不可以常試去改嗎？懶散的話就勤力一點啊。不要什麼拿星做來做擋箭牌。

你是不是一個很相信星座的人呢？

我是什麼座？
Ｈmm。。。我是８樓１０座。哈哈。



p/s :
以上是個人想法。不好意思，如果犯到很follow星座的你。

It's Plasticman

Plastic，的另一個講法 ~ ‘假‘。

從以前就不爽那些plastic的屁精。
明明剛認識還扮出一臉很了解你的明白醬。
為了目標而不要臉的把自己弄得很假。

但。。。
我現在也加入了他們的圈子了。
有時後也不自覺的假起來，由其是在client面前。
為了就是討好他們，拿到那個job。
不喜歡也只能默默的接受，好像很感興醬。
不過我絕不會加鹽加醋來讓他們更以為我很喜歡。

原來，‘假‘起來的我，也還蠻真的。
看來我除了會laser人，還可以扮假人。
得空來比一比看誰最假。
哈哈。

身邊經常出現的一堆假人。。。
Due to my work nature, i am always surrounded by these plastics...;p

Pasar Malam 的廉價蛋糕

華麗的包裝。沒有。
高級的材料。沒有。
順滑的口感。沒有。
鬆彈的蛋糕。沒有。
誘人的香味。沒有。


給我評得那麼差的蛋糕，為什麼我又買？
因為它有著別的高級餐廳或西餅屋都無法比拼的動西。
那就是。。。


小時後的味道，小時後的回意。


我就是吃醬的蛋糕長大的。
你呢？

很高興，我終於吐了

Have not been feeling well for the past 3 weeks. Went to see doctor twice already. Finished all the medicine given. Still the same. The feeling of vomiting is still there. But whenever i try to vomit, nothing come out. Thats the frustrating part, cos i really tried hard to vomit. I think i even hurt my throat while forcing myself to vomit. Not good, not good.

There's time that i have to stop by the petrol station while i was driving, just to vomit. But still the same, nothing came out. Dramatic huh?

But last night before i went to bed, the got the feeling again. The so-called 'sensation of vomiting' feeling running in my throat. So i went to the toilet and pose vogue-ly in front of my toilet bowl and ..........

I VOMITED !!! Banyak lagi..;p

I know this sounds strange but i am happy, cos i vomited, finally. And hope that everything will be fine from now one...

( My 'favorite' view for the past 3 weeks )

update : vomit again after lunch just now...;(

p/s: i think my weight is still the same, DAMN !!!

抵你死！

好開心噢！

我回家都會用elevated highway，而且通常都是在fast lane行使。昨晚駕到一半，遠遠有一輛KANCIL扮SPORTSCAR的黑車突然快速的駕在我後面。一看就知道是典形的飆車族，而且還是很海鮮的那種。看他醬‘趕時間‘，我就駕到second lane讓他過。好死不死，這時前面隔幾輛的突然從second lane駕到fast lane去。剛好頂著那輛以為終於可以大飆特飆的海鮮車。一頂就頂了十分鐘，直到toll為止。

看見海鮮車要飆但飆不到，心裡只有一個字。。。

爽！！！！！！！！！

The Gardener

I was at pasar malam buying dinner when i saw this stall selling loud floral prints dresses. It suddenly brought me back to the days when i was still working with Tangs.

There's this one female colleague who loves to wear colorful outdated floral print skirt, especially those with roses print. FYI, she is in her late 30's , but still wear things like a small girl ~ floral print skirts with pink ankle length socks and brown shoes. Maybe she is still hooked on her glory days ( late 80's ) that she continue wearing it.

But the funniest part s not about her, it's her working partner ~ Kit. Kit is a guy in his early 20's and quite good looking and have good fashion sense. He always complaint to us how much 'attentions' the got whenever they go out to see buyers or suppliers. Thanks to her loud-floral-print-late-80's-calf length-skirt!

And whenever he complain to us, we will teased Kit :

阿傑，真係辛苦晒囉。要托著甘‘大盆玫瑰花‘出出入入。哈哈。


多美麗的玫瑰花，多可愛的玫瑰花
我就這樣深深的愛上她。。。。。

理所當然？！

Bump into with my ex lady manager at Mid Valley today. She is an super fun old lady ( early 60's ) but bitchy as well. We used to laser around just to provide some entertainment to our colleagues. And of cos she won't miss any opportunity to tease and laser me.

Her : Ooi.. how old liao? Still unmarried?

Me : Why should i?

Her : See? You start to grow old and got grey hair liao. Fast-fast marry la.

Me : You are much older and your whole head is grey hair lorr, why not fast-fast go die? ;p

Then we both laughed out loud.
Hmm... i missed my LASER days....


我說過，我的性格很叛逆。自從開始工做以來，已經沒什麼東西是“理所當然“的了。只有我要不要去做。也很討厭被逼著去做一樣我不喜歡的東西。還好，到目前為止還沒碰上讓我很難堪的事。謝天謝地。

二選一

中年發福。常年發瘟。

我選後著。你呢？

最新驚悚片。。。

教完class，看到電話有一個missed call和sms。都是同樣的號碼。因為不熟息號碼，我reply了問對方是誰。５分鐘後，電話響，是剛才的那個號碼。

我 ：Hello, 你是？

她 ：Ｄanny，是我啊。我是‘肥妹鬼小姐‘。

我 ：（ 屌，真衰。）是你噢。什麼事？

她 ：沒有啦。要問你東西而已。為什麼你的電話沒有出我的名的？

我 ：不知道噢。有save你的contact啊。

她 ：yerrr。。。做麼醬的？你快快去check一下電話啦。

我 ：噢。。。

要我快快去check為什麼沒有出她的名字，倒不如快快check有沒有caller-auto-block function 好一點。有的話，我一定會讓她排在榜首。

NOW SHOWING ...

Service with a smile :)

Still remember the ' if-u-have-longer-legs' incident that happened in S&K? Well, this time something else happened.It seems that the staffs there are very helpful and friendly, or should i say, over friendly to their customers. I was there to get another pair of cargo pants. So i took 2 styles and ask for the size.

Me : Miss, can you get me a S szie for these?

Her : S size worr.？You sure? ( with a smile )

Me : Yup, S size. Coz the cutting quite loose.


So i took the S size pants and tried. It was quite fit. But if i want to wear it to dance, i will need a slightly loose one. ( 你知道啦，我們每天都在劈退。鬆一點比較舒服。哈哈。 ) So i asked for a size M.

Me : Miss, can i you get me another size M please?

Her : See? I told you already...haha. (with a super warm smile )

Me : ( luckily you are quite nice and helpful....;p )


Then i tried on the M size pants. Looks good. So again i called the sales person to take the length measurement for alterations.

Her : Errr.. 37.5".

Me : Make it 37" la.

Her : You sure? Very short worr...

Me : Yes. Cos i got SUPER SHORT LEGS.

Her : Haha. You are so funny. Haha... ( and walked out ... )

Me : .......


Although i've been "humiliated" twice in that shop, but i still will shop there. And i am happy for the company that they have a helpful and happy-go-lucky sales team.


雖然短了點，但是能為我找飯吃。感恩啊。

I cried ..

看了十次，哭了十次。。。
她散發出一股非常正面的力量。
那種自信，是我永遠都做不到的。
也讓我明白，什麼事都是有可能的。
不要被自己的一些的不足而感到自卑。
別人的眼光都不及的那份自卑來得可怕。
我知道，只有自己才會是自己最大的敵人。
過了自己，就沒有什麼可以擋著前方的路了。

我希望能有她的自信。。。
( Sorry, i've removed the clip.If you are interested to watch, go to Youtube, search for Susan Boyle and experience the miracle yourself.)



You might have watched this video clip before. The reason why i post it here is to share with you guys, and at the same time to REMIND myself that nothing is impossible, as long as we are willing to try.

p/s : Sorry for being selfish, but i would like to dedicate this clip to MYSELF :)

芝麻祿豆的困惑。。。

I am a very short tempered person. Any small matter can affect my mood for the whole day. And most of them are SMALL matter that its not worth wasting time to be angry on it.

For example :

I will get very upset if i bought a packet of nasi lemak with very little sambal....takde kick la ;(
Or i won't feel comfortable for the whole day if i suddenly realized that i wore the wrong shoes which doesn't match the style/look


Do you have same problem as me, losing temper over something that is so SMALL? Or i am just too free to waste my time on so many little things?

我（又何止）左眼見到鬼！？

還記得電影“我左眼見到鬼“裡，Ｓammi被一只肥妹鬼小姐纏著，說要上她的身。當Ｓammi拒絕時，她就死命重復那要求 ：

“一個鐘呢？半個鐘呢？十分鐘呢？五分鐘呢？一分鐘呢？一個鐘呢？半個鐘呢？十分鐘呢？五分鐘呢？一分鐘呢？一個鐘呢？半個鐘呢？十分鐘呢？五分鐘呢？一分鐘呢？一個鐘呢？半個鐘呢？十分鐘呢？五分鐘呢？一分鐘呢？ 。。。。。。。。。“

沒完沒了。當時看還覺得蠻好笑的。

但現在我就有著同樣的case，唯一不同的是，我被一只肥妹member纏。從去年開始就一直問我幾時得空吃飯？但我不能得罪member。所以我已經很有禮貌的拒絕了她很多次，但她還是不放棄。而且還越戰越勇。

肥妹鬼小姐 （我）

星期三呢？ （有class）
星期五呢？ （有class）
星期六呢？ （有class）
星期天呢？ （回Ｋlang）
Before class呢？（不能吃）
After class呢？（趕回家吃）
你decided呢？ （再說吧）

有誰可以幫幫我？
要怎麼辦？
又要能保著飯碗。


電影裡和我遇到的肥妹鬼小姐都是為了“吃“而纏著別人。真煩！

萬歲，萬歲，萬萬歲。

I went to cut my hair yesterday before the class. When i reached the gym, one of my member saw me and said to me :
" Wah Danny, new haircut huh? Your ears looked so big with this haircut. Big ears, long life worr.. "

I called Win-ni just now to confirm the appointment. And she told me :
"Biaokho, i just mentioned your name to Vivian, and your called. You long life oo.. "

It's a bit strange when you hear the same comment from different people. Long Life. But do i really want a long life? As in live till 80 years old? Have you even thought of your dying number?

還記得十年前因貪玩而對同事說，我立志要３０歲時死。因為要在還能看的情況下美美的死。讓大家記著我美好的一面就夠了。當我一位很毒的女同事聽到我醬說，她也力志，要在我２９歲生日是潑我acid。讓我“難看死“。真毒！！！死前的願望也要給她破壞。


p/s: 剛好兩個都和死有關。但並不代表我想死。我現在可是活得很精彩呢。哈哈。

會怎樣？

有一次我朋友很認真的問了我一個問題 ：
“你覺得你死了以後會怎樣？“

說真的，我那知道到是會變怎樣worr? 於是我也馬上很認真的回答：
“我答應你，等我真的死了以後，每晚來跟你報到我的近況！“

那如過我問你 ：“你覺得你死了以後會怎樣？“，你第一個想到的答案是什麼？


p/s ：沒有在咒你死，只是好奇你會怎樣答而已。:P

The NAKED Truth

" Gosh, I feel as if I have been striped naked everytime someone tells me that they read my blog. Yea, I'm fully aware that this is an open blog - but, yerrr, people still shy one mar!!!! "
( Text taken from Win-ni's blog )

你可有以上的經驗？
一些你想都沒想過會上網的人跟你說他有看你的blog？
我知道別人要看我的blog是多麼的容易。但坦白說，我宁願給陌生人或朋友看，也不想給我身邊的親人（由其是長輩）看到我些的東西。感覺有點尷尬，好像一切都坦蕩蕩的讓他們知道了。因為我所有的想法都可以在我的blog裡找到。發瘋的，廢的，高興的，低落的，兒童不宜的，長輩受不了的。。。

我媽有一次好奇的叫我姐開我的blog給她看。還好我姐‘醒目‘，開了就scroll來scroll去，然後click別的網站給她看。我承認我是背叛的。我希望有些事情還是只限於跟朋友分享的。長輩還是少知為妙。

你呢？
有沒有某些人是你不想他讀你的blog的？


The truth is, i strongly believe that certain things are meant to be shared with certain people only.
Do you agree with me?

Confessions of a Bitchaholic

I was a shopaholic when i was younger, as in when i was in my 20's. I just can't resist the seduction of all the nice stuffs. Despite only earning less than 2k a month, i still managed to live ( quite ) well at the same time contribute a big portion of my salary to the retail industry. And because of that, i am having my own little boutique at home displaying lots of shirts, pants and shoes.

But as i grew older, i have changed from a shopaholic to something worse ~ BITCHAHOLIC.

If shopaholic is caused by the low resistant towards nice stuffs, then bitchaholic is all about the not so nice things. But i have to make it clear that I ONLY COMPLAIN/COMMMENT, I DON'T MAKE UP STORIES/RUMOURS. Cos i hate people bitching about something that is not true. Sometimes it's a bit hard to control my mouth as i speak out too fast before it got screen thru my mind. As a result, lots of people have the impression that i'm an unfriendly person.

不知到是天生還是職業病。一看到不順眼的東西就會想講一下。有時講過火了都不知道。常因為醬而常得罪人。有發覺的還好，最怕是我得罪了都還不知道。再醬下去我想我連剩下的那幾個朋友都會不想見我。

So now i'm trying to change. If cutting off all the credit cards is the 1st step to stop being shopaholic, then what is the 1st step to stop as a bitchaholic?


Hello. My name is Danny. I'm a BITCHAHOLIC.

各施各法。。。

你可能不知道，我們做instructor的，除了要教class，還要拼業績。什麼業績？就是management set給我們的attendance target。不同的 class和時段有不同的target。如果在一段時間裡都hit不到minimum的話，就會被換instructor或直接換class。

我們當然不想醬啦。因為很malu的。所以，instructor們都會使出混身解術來吸引members進class。

我最大的競掙是每個星期一和星期三的Body Combat。因為我的MTV Jam和Body Combat都是熱們的class。所以難免會有搶members的狀況出現。大戰開始。他用他那fit到暴的身材來做賣點。我沒有身材，只能用我那還可以的舞姿來勾引members。雖然大家都有一班基本的supporters，但偶而還是想attract一下那些剛報到的新鮮肉體來join class。哈哈。還好目前為止大家都還表現得不錯，沒被management換掉。希望接下來的classes都會有更好的attendance。

各施各法。。。各們各菩薩。
真是‘搵食艱難‘啊。

感謝仙家指路

昨天在 Bangsar Telawi 的 McDonalds 吃 lunch。隔壁桌坐了三個鬼佬，聽他們的 accent，應該是英國人。講話很大聲，煩死人了。想要靜靜的吃都不能。突然Ａ的電話響。

A : Hello blah blah .. we are at the McDonalds .....yup, the one at the corner.... blah blah ... what street? （看著B ）

這時 B 很一枝箭衝出去看路牌。然後跑進來胸有成竹的對 A 說 ：

B : Tell him we are at ..... JALAN SEHALA。

過後我就不知道發生什麼事了。因為我已經被 coke 嗆到，一直咳個不停。。。


真衰，不能靜靜的吃 lunch，還要給 coke 嗆到！:P
真是感謝仙家指路囉。。。

Almost an ORGY ...

( Don't get me wrong... no steamy story here ;p )

Something very 駝衰家 happened to me last Friday. I was teaching the class in one of the club. As usual, i let them take a short break after a few sets of dance. Then, we will mark the step before continue with new steps. And normally i'll say to the class :
" Come on everyone. Let's MARK."

But dunno what happened to my mind and tongue that i suddenly said:
" Come on everyone. Let's FARK...... "

Luckily the music was playing quite loud at that moment. So i think no one noticed my mistake. But i kept on laughing after that till i can't concentrate on the steps. The members must be thinking why this normally cold looking instructor suddenly become so happy ...

MALU-nyerrr....
又是舌頭惹的禍 ！;p

請問要擺邊度？

前幾天去給牙醫洗牙。洗牙的指定動作 ~ 嘴張開hold著。然後牙醫就會拿一大堆的‘架撐‘在你嘴裡進進出出。洗到一半，我突然很想笑。因為我想到一樣很無理頭和尷尬的事。但只能忍。

OK, 來玩個遊戲吧。把嘴吧張開hold住３分鐘
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。


你有沒有和我一樣，舌頭突然間不知道要往那裡擺？有沒有很好笑？現在明白我的感受吧？我那好動的舌頭就是這樣，迷了方向。擺那裡都好像不對。當時真的覺得尷尬但又超搞笑。


牙醫叔叔，請問我條利應該擺邊度咧？

Showtime Blues 2

不好意思，一時上隱。都說的啦，老人家喜歡話當年。再講多一 part 做秀的經驗吧。

最大膽的秀
Annual dinner show for Dunhill. I think the theme is Wild and Red, very Dunhill image. So basically the boys only wear skimpy shorts with boots and the girls only with bra top and g-string with f*ck-me boots '. Half way dancing, you can see that lots of uncle rush towards the stage to take pictures....of the girls la of cos. Really shocking but very fun, looking at those hamsap Ah Pek and Pakcik's face. And also the expression of the Aunties when they saw us stripping on stage...LOL

最搞笑的秀
CNY Dinner show at JB. Since it's CNY , so we have to do some typical CNY thing lo. Girls in cheongsam and guys with the 大頭佛 costume. Do you know that it's really hard to dance with that stupid mask? All that i can see is a small fine line. And bcos of that, most of the guys end up crashing on each other... which makes sense as a 大頭佛.


最長的秀
Akademi Fantasia at Astro Ria. I did the whole Season 1 ( 9 episodes and 2 outdoor concerts ). That was a very good experience. You basically can see my face every Saturday on tv. Macamlah glamour sangat..;p You might see my face now on and off, cos Astro sometimes re-air the performances from previous seasons.

最臭臉的秀
Anugerah Juara Lagu TV3. We were backing up Dayang Nurfaizah, and won the Best Creative Ethnic category. Since i am the shortest male dancer, so my position is at the front row la. But knowing me, i was super nervous then. So when we did the ending pose ( me squat down in front of Dayang ), i forgot to smile. And when i don't smile, i look unfriendly. The next day, ll the people in my company who watched the show call me 'Penari Muka Masam.' ;(
( btw, the performance is viewable in Youtube. But you might not recognise me. Cos we have a lot of makeup on. )

Showtime Blues

上回說到從做秀拿經驗。那現在我就說說做秀的經曆吧。我做秀的資曆不算深，因為都是做freelance的。在工作不忙時才接秀的。雖然做的秀不多，但也有滿多的難忘，搞笑和難堪的經驗。

最難忘的秀
It was the Merdeka Countdown show in front of Sg Wang. 1st time countdown in a very spacious and comfortable area ~ backstage. Met lots of artistes there, such as HOCC, Gary Cao, Fan Wei Chyi, Lin Yu Zhong dan lain-lain. We were so into Gary that time where we posed long-long during the ending so that our friend can take pictures of us with Gary..lol. BTW, FFFWC is kind of LCLY ( no offense to FF fans )

最大陣仗的秀
A joint production between Astro and Indonesian tv station at Arena of Stars. And it's a live telecast! Sheila Majid was one of the performers and she was so sporting. Cos she was there sitting with us in the dancers room and bitch about those Indonesian...hahaha. Everyone was so tensed but i think we did a great show. BTW, very good pay. ( Tak sangka Indonesia got such big budget ;p )

最malu的秀
It was an annual dinner show for dunno which company. We did a Brazil Mardigras number where all of us wore lots of feathers and colorful ribbons. Suddenly, the ribbons on my wrist get caught in between the feathers on my headgear. 打死結. I can't do anything that i just keep on smiling and slowly go off the stage. SWEAT!!!
Oh ya, talk about malu. I once fly-skirt ( 飛裙露底 ) on Sg Wang's centre stage. I forgot that I was wearing a Scottish kilt and i happily go and did a big turn. So basically everyone can see my skimpy shorts....

最令人摸不著頭腦的秀
Also an annual dinner show. FYI, we only have less than 3 minutes to change the overall costumes in between songs. And that day i am the LEAD !!! Cos i am the smallest size male la... It was an African number where we were topless with a leopard print cloth wrapped around the waist and barefoot. For the ending pose, they have to lift me up and i have to strike a wild pose. And i did.... together with my WHITE SOCKS which i forgot to take off during changing.... Can you imagine a wild African wearing white socks? ;p

Hmm... talking about the show, i can go on and on....
You know la, old people like to talk about their past....


p/s : The song that is playing now is the song for my 1st performance as a dancer ~ In Your Eyes ( Kylie Minogue )

你是什麼底？

The ONE question that i am frequently asked in the studio is : " Danny, what is your dance genre? Or what is your basic? "

Err... basic? I have no basic. That's what i told them. I learned everything when i was doing shows. Cos as a dancer, we have to do all sorts of shows and dance numbers. From latin to hip-hop, jazz to traditional. Almost everything. And there's where learned and i slowly try to adapt all the differences on the moves, styles and attitude. And then slowly transform it to my own style.

So, i am proud to say that i am a dance instructor with half-pail knowledge. But luckily i still can conduct a not bad class. Cos i kind of know the mentality of the members. Basically they are there to sweat through a fun way ~ DANCE. They are happy as long as they got the steps and sweat at the same time. No super duper artistic choreography needed. Cos if they want that, they would have gone to the proper dance academy, not gym studio.

FYI, I always try to fill up the empty half .. with lots of hard work on the choreography, communications with members and a big warm smile whenever i conduct a class. Hopefully that will work. :)

p/s: 如果你問我的人生會是什麼底，我的答案是 ~ 賤底。那你呢？又是什麼底？

我的獨家Plasma

Went out for lunch with the Vice President of Persatuan Mulut Laser Malaysia yesterday. Then we saw a skinny Malay guy passed by.

Me : 真羨慕他，醬扁身。穿skinny jeans最好看了。

VP : 美是美啦。但他父母一定做很多壞事的。要不然為什麼會 “生仔無屎忽“ ？屁股扁到醬，一點肉都沒有。。。

Me : （很用力的 guat 著VP ）

VP : Opps.... sorry。不小心 shoot 到你。哈哈。

FYI, there are some words that is a bit sensitive to me.. such as 'short', ' flat ass', ....

我每天在class裡對members說自己的臀部為35.5吋的plasma tv。哈哈。


注 ：我也只那臀部是扁的，其他部位都圓到不行。。。:(

Set The Bar

剛才在打包lunch時，看到一桌 aunty 和她的三個孩子。應該都還在念小學吧。本來沒什麼的，但那aunty犯了Auntie Act 1 ( public announcement )，讓我聽見和他們的對話。原來他們在討論孩子們的考試成績。看樣子好想不是很理想，要不然她就不用醬大聲啦。

“我跟你們講啊。下次如果那一科再考少過７０分的話，就給我打！“

天啊！什麼道理啊？set醬的target。會不會太過份啊？少過７０分 “才“ 打 ？？！！想當年我們啊，考９０分都要給媽媽罵或中打。都怪我姐啦，set醬高的bar給我們。怪不的她是我們四個最會念書的。害到我們都得向她看齊。不過話說回來，也要謝謝媽媽的高要求，才能造做也今日靈活的頭腦，能無所不賤。哈哈。

想問問你們小時候，有沒有中set bar啊？
那高不高呢？


望子成龍。。。你成了嗎？

安娣正傳

I was at Mid Valley last week setting up display for my client. Since it was the school holidays, the mall was packed with aunties and kids. While i was doing my thing, i noticed that there are actually something funny about aunties. I'm not saying ALL, but most of them are. And these are what tend to do in general :

Auntie Act 1 ~ Public announcement with built-in speaker in them. Their volume will remained high wherever they go.
" Ah Boy, 叫你不要亂跑有沒有聽到啊！！！？？？"
( 不只你的 Ah Boy 聽到，連三樓的 sales girl 和 basement 的 security guard 都聽到啦。）

Auntie Act 2 ~ Last come first served. The word 'QUEUE' never appear in their dictionary. All they care is themselves.
" Excuse me, 可以幫我包起來嗎？要送人的。 可以快點嗎？ 我趕時間。 "
( 好好好。等我包完你前面這三位“食飽無事等屎坷“客人的東西，再來幫你噢。)

Auntie Act 3 ~ Love to share with the world. There is nothing that they can't tell.
" Miss, 這件褲太小了。有沒有34號啊 ？“
（ 安娣，你真大方。把你的‘福气‘跟大家分享。 ）


Any other actions or attitudes that can be categorized under "Aunty" ?
Do you have anyone like that around you?
Or... are you one of them? ( be it male or female ;p )

Aim High

一位舊同事在我們面前 complain（炫耀）她男友的缺點。我認識她男友。並不是她講的那辦差。但我沒出聲，只坐在那靜靜的聽她說鳥話。（噢，不對。應該是‘海‘話才對。）

她 ：他真的很沒用。叫他買ＬＶ給我都要叫很久才肯買。賺醬多都沒用，那些錢都不知到用去那裡。每天做工說壓力大，又不去找別的工作。但他應該蠻難找新工的。臉醬臭。有不會做人。又矮。還有。。

我 ；要醬高來做麼？方便抹風扇啊？
（賤嘴終於忍不住了。。。因為，本人對‘矮‘這個字有一點sensitive。。。)


我沒有六尺高，但我會待你好。。。

潑辣比一比

同樣的問題，我問了兩個人。
剛好兩人的結論都一樣 ~ 打！
但兩人的出手有點不同。

甲 ：是我的話就一拳sai 9他！

乙 ：是我的話就一巴kam 9他！

一個間單的問題就能反應出誰比較潑辣了。哈哈。

周年慶

Yep... today is the 365th day since the day i started blogging.
Lots of things happened within this period.
Lost something, gained even more.
Looking back at my very first entry...

.................................................................................

Title : NEW ARRIVAL
Dated : 24/3/08

ta...daa....

i know i know...its a bit over...
but hey, it took me years to have the courage to create my own blog..
cos i...i...dunno what to write...
but i'll try my best...

so, u guys out there...
wait for some rubbish n nonsense form me la..;)

...................................................................................

And i did!!!
I mean the part where i dumped lots of nonsense and craps in my blog. And i am definitely loving it. It felt even better when i know that you people out there "love" my nonsense too !!! ( hope that it's not too much to use the word LOVE )

And also from blogging in English to learning how to type Chinese.

...................................................................................

(my very first Chinese entry )

Title : 我要做個有錢人！！
Dated : 27/4/08

有人跟我說過：

（廣東話）
二趾長過公，做死一世窮。




我呸 ！
我要發達。
我要做個有錢人！
我要做個有錢人！！
我要做個有錢人！！！

( 喊夠了沒？夠了就去開工！！！;p )

..................................................................................

Thank you everyone who visited, commented, supported and ignored my blog. A big THANK YOU to Win-ni ( my biaomei ) who inspired me and also the first to drop a comment in this blog ( 26/3/08 ).

Lastly, just like what i said one year before :

" I'll try my best, wait for MORE rubbish and nonsense from me la .. ;) "


p/s : Happy Birthday ~ Big Mouth !!! ( No blog, no Big Mouth )
也祝我：繼續‘賤‘光四射！！！


pp/s : 那些說我三分鐘熱度的人，祝你們：大富大貴！

To fart or not to fart

Do you fart in front of your loved one?
Are you too scared to show the real you in front of him/her?
Or are you worried that he/she will tease you for the rest of your life?

I think all that matters here is the 'FACE DOWN' phase.
What? There's phases for farting?

Now, if you accidentally farted once, he/she might take the advantage to tease you. But if you willing to put down your 'FACE' and do that few more times in the future, he/she will have no reason to tease you anymore. There, your solution to run away from the fear of being teased.

Sometimes you just have to get yourself dirty in order to get the job done. No pain, no gain.

祝 ：放屁愉快

Ampun maaf kepada sesiapa yang berasa tersinggung.... dalam dan luar...;p

引和惹之間

你知道“引“和“惹“最大的分別是什麼嗎？

引 ~ 由我們本身出發。要有一定的動作才能得到它。
惹 ~ 由他人出發。通常不是我們想要的東西或事物。

很不幸的，兩著都在我身上報到。而且還是同時發生在gym裡。

雖然是個dance instructor，但有時還是在gym裡希望得到別人的欣賞。所已我努力的跳，希望能 ”引“ 來他人的眼光。也不知道是否我的身分而讓他們不敢接近我。每每只是站在遠方看。別害羞啦，來啦來啦。我不會把你吃掉的。

也因為我是個dance instructor，所以對members也會比較friendly。但偏偏就有那些不關事的人收錯signal，為我 “惹“來了不少麻煩。我也不能做什麼，因為他們是米飯班主。只能不斷的推約。希望人家會自討無趣，趕快醒來吧。


拉或推？引或惹？
天啊！保佑我，醜的不靈好的靈。

命中注定 On The Beat

不知道是天生的，還是職業病。
發現我走路的時後，會有點像跳舞醬，有節拍的。
如果聽音樂的話，會更明顯的跟著beat走。

習慣聽著i-pod在街上走。
看我走路的速度，就會知到我是在聽快歌或是慢歌。
很多人以為我在趕時間。但我只是不由自主的被beat帶著走。
好累啊。

人家走路有風，我卻走路有beat。
吹咩？哈哈。


Was at Sunway Pyramid the other to touch up some VM for my client. As i was busy rearranging the merchandises, i noticed that the 2 staffs was staring and laughing at me. So i asked them:

Me : Ooi. What laugh-laugh? No need do ah?

Them : Danny, how come you looked like you are dancing when you walk? Cos i see you slide here and there with the shirts on hand. Funny la. Haha.

Me : Got meh?( 心虛ing ) Your fault la. Who ask you to play such nice music in the shop? ;p

I'm FRAMED

I normally share or complain things to my close friend. From work, life to anything that bothers me. And whenever i finished my complaints, he will just look at me with his very cold face. And came back to me with the same conclusion ~ YOU ARE FRAMED!

FRAMED?!

Yes, i think i am basically framed.
I set too many restrictions in whatever i do.
So that i will get the best result.
I care too much on how people looked at me.
So i tried very hard to be the one that they liked.
I am a very kaisu and kiasi person.
So i set targets too high that it's actually dragging me down.


I am trying very hard to let go on all the restrictions and stupid ego. I know i'll have to run through that huge wall in front of me. It won't be easy and it might take some times. But i think it's time for me to do the right thing. At least this time, i set the CORRECT target for myself, i guess....



太多的框框把自己弄得太累。
正在努力的過那最難的一關 ~ 自己。

F*ck You Very Much :)

( Those who are under 18, please go away...shooooooooo !!! This entry is no good for you. )

Thanks to my hairstylist, Arwin, who introduced her to me. Who? Her ~ Lily Allen, a young and upcoming singer from UK. The main thing that attracted me is the way she sings. Not to forget the lyrics, which is so fun yet real.

Here's 2 clips of from her latest album. MUST listen... dun pretend just browse and then leave comment ok? ;p

Song 1 : F*ck You
There's so many way to express your feelings by saying the "F" word. And i'm definitely loving her way ....犯賤。原來咒人也可以這麼的調皮。哈哈。從此以後，"F*ck You" 變得無比的可愛。Going to use this song to teach in the class... wonder if the members can take it or not..


Song 2 : The Fear
I am very positive that the song is al about me ..
Part of the lyrics..

"Forget about guns and forget ammunition
Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything's cool as long as I’m getting thinner"

有無好抵死？哈哈。

放棄。大便。

I went to the studio slightly earlier today to study some choreography. When i reached the studio, i saw Annie ( Body Step instructor ) was there practising her new step routine.

Me : 哇。甘勤力啊？係度new launch geh steps?

Annie : 無變。今晚有tuition，到宜家都重未熟steps。真是唔急屎都唔挖窿。你geh咧？搞惦啊？

Me : 我？我已經不坷好唻啦。哈哈。


能夠堅持，不等於一定就是個強漢。
同樣的，放棄有時也不一定是弱著。
只要是對的，有時放棄也會很快樂。
起碼我是這麼想的。所以我放棄了。

你join了嗎？

Went to buy something at One Utama just now. Paid and went out from the shop. Then went for lunch. While waiting for them to serve my food, i checked the details on the receipt again. And i was shocked. Can't believe my eyes ...

中年聚樂部。。。 我join了。

Can TALK !?

I once asked a friend to describe me.

"You ah? You are blah blah, blah blah blah, and also can TALK. "

Hmm.. i wonder what is the actual definitions of 'CAN TALK '.

Can Talk = 講得? OR 傾得?

講得。。。
一輪嘴的講。自己講自己爽。旁人可能沒機會加入話題。
傾得。。。
和朋有擁有共同的話題和思想。可以有很好的談話互動。

Those who have met me or already know me, please clarify.
Thank you for helping me to know me better. :)


Can talk? Can talk! Trying to know myself better....

斗牛

不是西班牙斗牛。
更不是三對三的街頭籃球。

說的是我的牛脾氣。
出了名沒耐性和固執。
遭殃的是我身邊的好友和家人。
想想真的很不應該。

還有還有，我駕車時也蠻牛的。
你如過要割過我，高興的話，我會讓你割。
不爽的話，再怎樣我也不會讓你割。
定多斗看誰比較牛啦。

但隨著年齡的增長，脾氣好像比較收斂了。
我會盡量去控制，不讓它醬容意暴發。
再說，都一把年級了，難道還要學那些小伙子,扮血氣方剛咩？
我知道我們華人有十二生肖。
但牛脾氣的我，每年都在過‘牛‘年。

真金不怕紅爐火。

昨天，那位‘食飽無事等佬Ｘ‘的姐姐又來搞破壞了。這次，她背著我叫別的members過檔去隔壁的class。還不斷的數落我的不是。還好，‘她精我也不笨‘，我當然也事先已經在別的members那裡得知隔壁班的info。

她們會來我的class就是因為喜還我教的方式。當初接手時那class才有小貓幾只，到現在的平均每個class２５位。我自問我很努力，很努力的把它build起來。而且最高興的就是看到姐姐們不斷的帶她們朋友來join我的class。

真金不怕紅爐火。別誤會，說的不是我有多自大，而是我對自己因該有的信心。所以，在此想對那位搞屎棍說：‘大姐，你省省吧。我是不會醬容意被你打倒的。‘

小心接招，我可有一身的‘好陰功‘。哈哈。

你好，我是。。。

有誰可以解示給我聽，一下兩個名稱有什麼分別？
因為當別人用後著醬我時，總覺的有一點不舒服。

“Danny : The Big Mouth“ vs “Big Mouth Danny“

I know they might have the same meaning but somehow the 1st one sounds better. Don't you think so?

獻醜啦。。。

Here here..

The video of the dance demo which i did last Saturday for one of the fitness centre that i teach. All the steps are quite basic and simple, as we want to attract more people to try, not to scare them away with those super-duper So U Think U Can Dance dance styles. Furthermore, i am definitely not at that level.

I was so freaking nervous that day, knowing that my WHOLE family is there to watch and support me. ( FYI, my house is just 5 minutes away from the mall ) If i'm not mistaken, this is officially the 1st time i shake my old ass in front of my dad. How can i be not nervous on that? So i did some mistakes on the steps, but i guess it still look not bad. Hopefully it will be better next week, cos they won't be there...hahahaha..;p


不好意思，在此獻醜了。如果看了令你不舒服的話，thousand apologies。
話說回來，看完了video，我突然覺的我像一種動物。
你覺的呢？什麼動物最貼切？

Best Compliments !!!

Met my old friend at Mid Valley yesterday and she gave me a very good compliment. Or should i say, she said something that i want to hear.
What compliments would you like to receive?

~ You look great !? （ 不，我一直都沒有好看過 ）
~ Your skin looks so radiant !? （ 不，我的臉油得像剛polish醬 ）
~ Your hair is nice !? （ 不，我頭髮粗得像wire一樣 ）
~ Nice outfit !? （ 不，不用你講我也知道;p ）
~ Cute little hand bag !? （ 不，我的包包大到可以裝兩只雞 ）

But for me, the only thing that i really want to hear is ~

"What happened to you? You look SLIMMER now !"

Haha....very shallow rite? But who cares?
As long as it makes me happy for the rest of the day! ;p

原來我不pro。。。

I always thought that a class is good when the members are satisfied. Therefore, i tried to conduct the class with all my heart. Just to make sure that the members enjoyed themselves during attending my class. Thank God, they always walked out from the studio with a smile in their face. And no complaints from the management yet. So i thought i did a good job.

Today i spoke to a regular member after the class. She said :
"Danny, you looked happier today. As compared to the week before. "

And then it hit me just like that. Is it that obvious?
Remember that i was feeling down the whole of last week? Although i tried to cheer and laugh with them in the class, somehow it still show on my face that i was not in the mood. And just when i thought that i was doing well conducting the class all this while .....

I am truly very sorry to all my members, for my un-pro attitude. I'll try to be better in the future. And for me to realize a fact : Everything will be good, when you are doing it from the bottom of your heart.

深深的明白，做什麼東西都要‘發自內心‘。醬才能達到最好的效果。

貧民富翁

( 不好意思 SK, 借你的題目用一下 )

說的當然不是那部拿了無數大獎的電影。
人家是從貧民變成富翁。而我明明是貧民但卻需要做些‘假‘富翁的事。

自問年薪沒有幾百万，但就被逼擁有４個銀行戶口。我也不想啊。我平時對錢財管裡都沒興趣。現在還要manage４個accounts。有夠'pekcek'啊！
每次有payment進來時都要好像有幾百万身家醬，一間間bank去transfer錢。真的是多塊魚。

Maybank ~ Personal / Freelance VM payments

RHB ~ Ex companies salaries

Public Bank ~ Truefitness payments

CIMB ~ Chi Fitness payments ( 今早剛開的）

我知道很多人都有好幾個bank account。但為何我的accounts總是沒什麼看頭咧？

p/s: I'm going to do a Dance Demo on Saturday, 7/3 ( 8pm ) and 14/3 ( 5pm ) at Jusco Bandar Baru Klang. If you happened to be free or somewhere nearby, please do come and support us. And also see how i shake my OLD ASS for the sake of MONEY .... (sigh) ;p

健身中心殺人事件

Gym是一個很健康的的方。可以健身又可以擴大你的朋有圈。但gym也是也個充滿地雷的是非地。

剛開始教class時，有聽其他instructor講過關於member complain的事。這些大多數是姐姐們。因為吃飽太得空，就聚一起講是非。有發生過她們亂亂講話，弄到某位instructor被開除。所已叫我要小心這班姐姐們。還好，so far so good。她們還算蠻喜歡我的class。

但今天不小心給我聽道有位大姐在跟她的姐妹團說關於我的事。其中有一件事是無中生有的。讓我嚇到。看不出她那個樣子，原來是‘搞屎棍‘。從今天開始，我會盯著她。看她還有沒有亂說話。免得我無端端給她弄死。

那位大姐，以後講話請三思。
別忘了，我可以讓妳們慾仙，當然也可以讓妳們慾死。

The Talented Foursome

無意中看見了張小時候的照片。才發現，原來我家的四個小孩都是‘彈得之人‘。

大姐很會彈鋼琴，每次家裡需要配樂的時候都會叫她彈。她的兩個孩子也可能有遺傳到這才華。有時偶爾會表演‘亂彈‘。記的妹妹們好像也會彈吉他。也聽過她說在佛堂有學彈古箏。但現在好像沒什麼看到她們動那些樂器了。

而我呢？當然也不是省油的燈。雖然小時候爸媽沒送我去學彈樂器，但我也很掙氣。不斷努力的自修。我主修‘彈人‘，副修‘彈東彈西‘。到現在我想我的level也不低了。

有誰懷疑我的彈功？或太得空沒事做想給我彈彈看？
來嘛，彈彈看嘛。有病彈病，沒病彈到你高興。

黃門‘四彈家‘。我以你們為榮。

p/s : 之前答應過自己，一定要彈回來。And here i am ! :)
Thanks everyone for your concern and wishes. 也讓我更懂的家人和朋友的重要。