S(h)IT UP

今天在gym做了weight training。做著做著，感覺肚子有點痛。但想著還剩下abs沒做。不如把他做完再上廁所，然後沖涼走人。但做sit-up做到第二set時，肚子已經很痛了。原來‘屎將軍‘帶著千軍萬馬已經到kastam報到了。不能忍了，趕快衝去廁所。

好死不死，在衝廁所的途中遇見了很就不見的member。她拉著我聊天。問東問西。一點都不理會我那‘急屎‘的臉有多明顯。Beh tahan了，只好跟她說我有事，然後以飛快的速度猋去廁所。

我沒怪那member。因為是我自己犯賤。肚子痛還去做sit-up，活該！


只知道，忍一時會風平浪靜。
卻沒想到忍一‘屎‘真的很夠力要命！

來吃我啊。。。

我在某個club的class好像很受友族歡迎。那club其實華人member居多，但join我的class的大半數是‘馬‘兒們。於是有位嘴很賤的instructor跑來問我：

他 ：啞，做麼你的class醬多Ｘ（一種動物。我不寫因為很沒禮貌。）的？

我 ：因為我額頭上有樣東西是你沒有的。

他 ；什麼？那裡有東西。。。？


This is a conversation between 2 instructors while waiting for their class to start.
Really wu-liao kan?
Just when everyone thought that instructors will only talk about healthy stuffs ....LOL

自欺欺人 2

I once read an article about the reason of growing grey hair.
Apparently, actively using our brain is one of the reason.
( According to that article la ;p )

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and i am so glad and proud.
Cos i got so many grey hair lately......LOL


有人說 ：
如果你拔一根白頭髮，它將會另外生出三根來。
你相信嗎？

Strike A Pose !

I once worked with a photographer for a fashion event. Not sure who appointed him, but i really got shocked while working with him. We were assigned at the reception counters, where we have to take the pictures of celebrities and guests before they entered the hall. As usual, the celebrities will normally just stand there and strike a simple and nice pose. Not too over, but 'TRENDY'. ( Just like those pictures in tabloids and fashion magazines. )

Apparently, i think this photographer is not used to taking pictures for a trendy event. So whenever the celebs step in front of the photo-op backing, he'll request them to give him a SUPER LAME pose. And i am very PANTANG with this pose ~

" big smile and TWO THUMBS UP !!! "

我的天啊！有夠cheap咯！
我們是在做時尚派對，又不是在賣泰國香米或著是tongkat ali coffee。
需要弄到大家醬‘親民‘咩？
我直接把那個photographer屌到上天花板。



FYI, i am not very good in posing when taking pictures. Normally i'll just stand there and show my standard face.;p
( But at least i know how to make myself looks better with certain poses. )

你呢？你有沒有那個是你死都不會要擺的呢？
我的話當然是叫我扮可愛啦。
沒辦法，誰叫我的臉‘臭老‘。
扮起來很惡心，很想大巴大巴xing自己！

Kamsa Hamnida

最近教class時，都遇到一個問題：就是大家都在教同樣的歌。去到不同的club，都聽到他們在跳同樣的歌。Lady Gaga, Britney Spears和Akon等等都是跑不掉的啦。最好笑的是當我跟members說跳什麼歌的時後，他們都傻眼。因為上一個小時他們剛剛跳同樣的歌。現在又要跳，但不同的steps。真的很像是在整他們醬。
( FYI, memorizing 2 different choreos using ONE same song is very challenging. )

我一直都在找不同的options來教，避免撞歌。之前有用過韓語的歌來教，效果還不錯。但我的韓歌名單有限。之前用過的有Rain, Super Junior, Son Damb, Wonder Girlsi和Big Bang。如果要在Youtube找的話，會很費神。因為實在太多好聽的舞曲了。

所以在這，想要大家幫幫忙。
有沒有那些歌是你們覺得很好聽及想推健的呢？

謝謝大家的幫忙。
感恩啊。

電影。經典。笑話。

我自問我的英語還可以。普通的對話都可以handle。
（除了之前有member說我的Ｅnglish有Ｐenang福健音。哈哈。）

但在college時期，就比現在差三百倍。說起英語會有點吃力。也因為醬而鬧出很多笑話。很喜歡一大班朋友去看電影。但每每一念電影名子就會很好笑。

像把Up Close and Personal念成Close-up and Personal。（有沒有舜間變成了成人電影醬？）又或著像As Good As It Gets醬，通常念完舌頭有點打摺。

但最經典的是：
Ｎ年前有部電影叫The Man in the Iron Mask，是Leonardo DiCaprio主演的。
當時我排著隊要買戲票。一面排，一面跟朋有聊天。到我的時後，我就很vogue的跟那售票員說：

4 tickets, 3pm




The Man in the AYAMAS........

真的醬好搭咩？

I'm not sure why people always have the impressions that i am attached to that someone whenever i am close to them.

P thought i was with S, cos she bumped into us shopping together a few times. Then L thought i am with S too.. just because we have more common topics to talk about. O on the other hand, thought that D is with me cos D always talked about me. And finally, after a while, L thought i am now with W.

Why la?

( FYI, all this happened within a year! 不想在這裡‘開名‘，免得為他們打廣告。哈哈。But if you asked me those questions before, then i'm sure you can find your name in the above lists. )

她是永遠的百變天后，我是新來的百搭天王！

自欺欺人

FYI, i normally buy my dinner from the stretch of Malay stalls nearby my house. And i usually go to this stall. ( Kakak A )

Me : Kak, nasi lemak satu. Nasi separuh ya..
Kakak A : Tengah diet la tuu.. hahaha

Then one day, i went to another stall cos the one that i usually go to is closed.

Me : Kak, nasi lemak satu. Nasi separuh.
Kakak B : Keciknye perut. Nasi separuh je...

And from that day onwards, i only buy from Kakak B. ;p


我也是人。
我也喜歡聽些花言巧語啊。哈哈。

一起去遊行

( final post of the trip )

Lisbon :

去Lisbon真好。有得看又有的吃。每天都在古城裡遊蕩。有是還以為自己在Malacca呢。那裡的甜點更不用說。我身上多餘的肉都拜它們所賜。哈哈。
剛好遇到他們的大日子，所以那裡都能看見那些五顏六色的彩帶高高挂。很有節日的feel。


Lisbon的街頭。很喜還這張照片。很有感覺。



今日重頭戲 ：在異國遊行
走著走著，遇見一班小朋友。他們都身穿costumes，準被去parade。好期的我們當然不放過機會，跟隨他們的隊伍後面去八掛一下下。一路上，他們唱著當地的民謠，樂隊敲出動人的歌曲，路人都為他們鼓掌和歡呼。好過癮，好爽。朋友還一度Miss Malaysia上身，不斷對路人招手和送飛吻。看看那些孩子，有沒有很天真，無邪？真羨慕。


好啦。Trip的故事講玩啦。
接下來又可以大談廢話啦。

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Madrid 2 : All about art and culture

I think it's a MUST for you to watch 2 things if you are visiting Spain ~ BULL FIGHTING and FLAMENCO DANCE. I skipped bull fighting cos it is very cruel to the animal. As they have to kill them at the end of the session. No good no good. Therefore, i went to watch the Flamenco performance at one of the world-known Flamenco restaurant in Madrid. The place was crowded with people from all places. We dined before the show.
Show started with 3 young ladies dancing, then a guy. Just when i thought they are so talented and great, an old auntie stepped on the stage and wowed everyone with her superb Flamenco moves. I think we applause for 5 mins after she dance. I guess she is the senior or teacher of the group.
BTW, i bought back some castanets to PLAY...LOL


I'm not only into SHOPPING you know? I love art too. We went to this place where they exhibit some art pieces with the theme : POP SPORT ( a Sports Illustration and Pop Art cross-over with a twist of humor in it. )



Hmm... how i wish i am there 1 month later... so that i can go to watch my 'sister' performing...;(



Apa ini...anyone?



今天重頭戲 ：誤闖彩虹村

和朋友在GRAN VIA亂亂走。東看西看。還一度Jolin上身，邊走邊大唱 ：“馬得里 不思議 突然的想念你。。。“ 唱到朋友都叫我收聲！
突然來到了這個地方。那些人都好像有點不同。眼神，樣貌，妝扮。。。四周都看到彩旗飄飄。原來是來了彩虹村。走著走著，有看到了這間hotel。很時髦，很vogue的設計。但最特別的，就是它們的tagline。很LOUD很SEXY。
BTW, i went to their website...nice........

酷巨雞

Madrid 1 :

The minute i stepped in the Madrid airport, i was attracted by it's interior. Very minimal and simple ... with a lot of 'industrial' elements. The check-in counter, the roof lighting, and even the toilets. And the color combination is very refreshing yet stylish. 命中注定工廠命。哈哈。


Then we checked in to the hotel along Gran Via ( the main road in the city ). A very typical old Spanish building with balcony for each room. Very class like that. The location is so strategic that we are surrounded by all the fashion boutiques and restaurants. Zara and H&M is just across the road. Absolutely convenient for me..:) 那幾天，我進那些店還多過我上廁所的次數。
Me posing a la rich people at the balcony...;p


Went to have a look at those historical and famous buildings again. And stopped by the park to rest. It was a sunny and breezy day. A lot of people in the park doing picnic, or just sit under the tree reading.
原來大嘴也可以很白癡。一堆在公園裡拍的無聊照。


A building near Mayor's Plaza. Can you see if there is something wrong?


今天重頭戲 ：我看見巨雞

Prostitution is quite normal in Madrid. You can see the ladies standing by the lanes ( along Gran Via ) waiting for their potential clients. They start their business as early as 6pm. All sorts of sizes and shapes available. And i am so 'LUCKY' to be approached by one of them. She saw me passed by, smile to me and said : NI HAO. I looked at her, smile back and walked away. I think she is seriously desperate for business. WHY????

重點來囉 :
A 180cm-tall-European-Big lady trying to get hook to a 165cm-short-Asian. Funny rite?
想想看。如果一個165cm敢敢去上180cm，有沒有像我們俗稱的 ：細路喳大車？？？？哈哈。

忘我的起舞

Barcelona 2 :

Went to the famous tourist shopping area ~ La Rambla. Seperti biasa, it was packed with tourist and local people who are trying to POTONG us. Was browsing some items in a souvenir shop when a staff came to us and asked where are we from. Korea? Japan? Hong Kong? no no no.. Then we told him .. Malaysia. " Oh.... Malaysia. You choose choose. Buy many many.. i give you POTONG HARGA. " Aiyo.. people so got heart, Malay word oso came out already. how can we not buy? So finally, i think i'm the one who got POTONGed by them. Cos later one i found out that things in Barcelona is slightly more expensive than Madrid. Damn!

The famous St Joseph Market in La Rambla. Everything is nicely displayed and look so fresh. Check out the colors. Very attractive and appertising ...


Went sun-tanning ( this is where i got BURNT! ) at the beach near Port Olimpic. It was a sunny day with wind non stop blowing. Really nice weather. And of cos, nice VIEW too!!!
BTW, i forgot to remove my IPod's cable from my chest while tanning. So now, i got a white line on my chest.. very funny le..


今天重頭戲 ：Fiesta裡忘我的起舞
We accidentally passed by this area where they were having some religious ceremony with parades. The musicians where damn good.. and the songs were fantastic. Mainly Samba music.I automatically started to move my body and shake my hip to the music beat .. feel so hot.. so hot... everyone were enjoying themselves.

重點來囉。你有看過人家忘我的起舞嗎？那種表情是不是很像syok sendiri？還有很誇張好笑的動做？
我就是太頭入了。死命擺動身體和揮手。一個不小心，手脂勾到鼻孔。痛到~~~~~有夠駝衰家!!!!!!

What say you?

First of all, let me clarify something. As you know, this is not a Travel Blog. So, don't expect me to post all the pictures of famous buildings, hot spots and other tourist related things. I'll post things that i like.. and most of the entries is about me.. and ME only.. :P

Barcelona 1 :

走在的街道上，你會聞到濃膿的異味 ~ 狗屎和狗尿的味道。那裡的人很多都有養狗。也很喜歡在街上溜狗的是候順便給它們大小便。大狗小夠都是醬。濃好了就摸摸狗頭轉身就走。所以，你會看見滿街都是黃金（狗屎）。走路還真得要看清楚。乾的濕的散的硬的，要什麼，有什麼。之前的‘滿城盡帶黃金甲‘應該在這裡取景。

對他們的是物也有點意健。好像有點過咸。但還是蠻好吃的。只是過後死命喝水囉。還有還有，他們用餐的時間也蠻晚的。兩點才開是買午餐，真是餓死我了。

OLD & NEW :
A typical old Spanish building next to a modern one ~ something that you can see everywhere in the city.

A view in between the buildings... 好像可以看出人生百態，很多故事。。。

Visited some of the famous GAUDI buildings. Err ... 不懂得欣賞。哈哈。

今天的重頭戲 ：
The famous statue of Christopher Columbus in the middle of the city. According to the reference, most probably he is saying to the people : " Go, and discover the world."
Now, if you have to create a line for him ( in a more creative way.. but no bad words allowed ), what would it be?



Big Mouth's version :

F.Y.I.

Just a bit of updates of my current situation :

我吃多過頭，所以胖了
我動多過頭，所以殘了
我曬多過頭，所以黑了
我花多過頭，所以仆街了。。。

Hola, I'm Big Mouth from Ampang. Always wear a big big smile even there's a big big sun... :P

Can you see the invisible goggle on my face? LOL

Anyone know any sponsors who need a spokesperson for whitening product? hehe

Part of the damages made from the trip..... pocket koyakkksss liao...:(

我回來了！

Thank God for a safe and healthy trip.
And i am glad to be HOME. :)

On Tour

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...

I will be leaving the country for a while, to do a ' lawatan sambil belajar ' tour in Spain and Portugal Saturday onwards. The main objective of this tour is to introduce the famous "Ampang Yong Tau Foo" to the world and also to share the LASERING and BITCHING knowledge with the local biatches. ;p

My promo tour schedule :

31 May - 4 June ~ Barcelona
4 June - 8 June ~ Madrid
8 June -12 June ~ Lisbon
12 June - 13 June ~ Barcelona

So, try not to miss me too much during my tour period ok?
Will try to bring back lots of interesting stories ( hopefully ) when i'm back.
See ya and oh, WORLD PEACE ! ;p


能為安邦做點事實在是我的榮幸。
我愛安邦，安邦愛我。哈哈。

p/s : Can you guys do me a favor while i am away? Please come and pretend visit my blog... so that he won't feel lonely...KAMSIA very much :)

Let's DANCE

A member came to me after the class, asking for some tips to dance. According to her, she is perfectly fine with the music, rhythm and counting. But her main problem is the movement. She said she is a Rhythmic person with Movement disable. As she can dance but can't really seems to get the correct ATTITUDE, STYLE or FLAVOR or the dance.

Hmm.. i just realized that she is so right about this. Cos some people is very good in counting and get the steps quickly. But their dances seems lack of some attitude. That's why i always give the members a story and ask them to imagine them in it while dancing. And i think it's a good and casual way to bring out their own confident and style.

Now i won't say that i am very good with both, but at least ... acceptable and not to torturing to the eyes ;p. So, my question is :
When you dance ( if you don't dance, just imagine !!! ), do you dance to the BEAT ? Or the MUSIC ?

( Cos i've seen a lot of so-called 'Hot Girls' doing the booty shake whenever they dance ... Whether what type of music is playing (( Hip Hop, Street, R&B or even Jazz )) is out of their consideration. )


Another tips that i told the members ...
"We are here to dance, not doing the choreography. Just loosen up and move. :) "

L30% R70%

什麼東東？說的是拍照時，我臉的角度啦。
多年前，Sammi就被人稱為“左臉天后“。因為机呼全部的宣傳照都是在拍左臉。而剛好我就和她相反。比較喜歡拍右臉。因為覺得右臉的feature比較sharp。

那你呢？有沒有特別喜歡或著習慣用那邊臉來拍照？



Ｎ年前的笑話。據說，有位女生朋友很認真的問我 ：到低她那邊臉比較上鏡，較好看？我看都不看的就回答 ：

“妳帶mask最好看！“


我是面俱天后。前后左右都那麼好看。;P

好夢。好夢

I had this sweetest and best-est dream last night. Something that i really wanted in my real life...

We were in the bank when this robber came in and fire a shot. Everyone squatted down and was so scared. Nobody dare to make any noise. I was at a corner quite far away from him. Thought that it wold be safer for me. But suddenly, Mr Robber point his gun at me and said :

" 那個穿黑衣的排骨，過來！“ ( Yes. He said it in Mandarin...LOL )
( The skinny guy in black shirt, came here ! )

OMG !!! My mind went blank and I was speechless. DID HE JUST CALLED ME SKINNY? I swear to God that i've never felt this happy for quite some time already. Being called SKINNY...;p 真懷念被叫排骨的日子。


So won't the real SLIM Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up ?
( Oh, i am so in love with this song...LOL )

Mari Pilih Pilih Pilih ...

我一向來都不是很相信風水或華人傳統pantang-larang的人。覺得有時真的很煩，很多餘。

因為風水的關係，一間很高雅的房子突然出現了‘寶劍‘和‘錢幣‘。以前搬新家時，我和妹妹的房間的擺設也差點被那風水師父弄得不成人樣。什麼門不能對門啦，床不能對衣櫥啦。。。還好我們都很堅持自己的想法。因為住的是我們，不是他。如果你每天對著你不喜歡的房間，你還會快樂嗎？

近兩年家裡都有喜事。兩個妹妹，一個嫁了，一個待嫁。但都好像都有同樣的煩鬧：就是選日子。選特別好的日子，會跟很多對新人撞期，會訂不到酒店。選普通的日子，有怕老人家不喜歡，別人會有閒言賢語。

但如果問我，選什麼日子,或那個酒店都是次要。
選‘對‘人才是最重要！！！
祝我家的爸媽和三姐妹s ：有幸福，美滿的生活。也祝大家快樂。


Something that i wrote in the earlier posts :

I LOVE LOVE, and LOVE BEING LOVED. :)

我的生存之道

Drove by the school never my house this morning and saw them doing their activities. Apparently there's a group of students lined-up next to the fence, waiting to be 'tat' by the other student. They are learning Silat actually. It's fun to see how they slam each other and still smiling.

I used to learn tae-kwon-do back in my primary school. And i think i've reached the brown belt level before i gave up. If i'm not mistaken, the level based on the color of the belt should be White - Yellow 1 - Yellow 2 - Green - Brown - Blue - BLACK. Why i stopped then? Can't remember. Maybe i realized that i have other talent that is more useful for me to learn ~LASERING. ;p

And true enough, the ability of LASERING is quite helpful to me in order to SURVIVE in the creative line. Cos you need all those knowledge to handle those plastic people and back-stabbing bitches!! Thank God, i swapped to the LASER club long time ago. LOL

So, do you have any martial art background? Or do you intend to take up any of the courses?


我的獨家招術 ：華山論‘賤‘。接招！哈哈。

Syukur Alhamdulilah

Went to collect my medical report today after the procedure last week. Thank God, everything is ok! I am in Tip Top condition ... LOL ( that statement is purely some self-praise confident boost, as i am, u know, not getting any younger anymore ....;p )

The fatty liver ( high cholesterol ) that they suspected earlier also turned out to be at normal level. But i will have to temporary say goodbye to all my favorite spicy food lo... But who knows? Once a while i might have a secret rendevous with them cos don't think i can liv without those spices ... Once a Spice Boy, always a Spice Boy .. hehehe


那你們就耐心點等待Spice Boy從出江湖吧。哈哈。

p/s : 昨晚跟阿蘭講電話。他說我的聲音沒之前那麼的響亮了。。。

怪我過份準時

Today a regular member came to me after the class and told me :

Her : Danny, you really stingy huh? Always end the class on time. Next time give us extra 10 minutes la...
( smiling and COMPLAIN at the same time )

Me : Oh, cos the management asked us to follow the timetable strictly. So i follow lorr...hahaha
( smiling and WALK AWAY at the same time )

Not sure if thats a good or bad thing about me ~ being TOO PUNCTUAL.

I have to say that i am a good person, cos i always follow the timeline. I have never been late to submit assignments in college or proposals in company. And i follow my class schedule strictly. I'll start on time and end on time as well. Or if i'm going for some appointment, i'll go 15 minutes earlier. I hardly late unless i purposely do so. I guess that is not the serious thing about me.

But one thing that i think i have to do something is : when someone borrow things from me, i'll let them take their time to return it. But if i ever borrow things from someone, i'll return it to them ONCE i'm done wit it. Sometimes i even have to keep calling them to check when are they free for me to RETURN the stuffs. Is that a bad thing?


‘喂，你幾時得閒啊？我要還你geh０也啊‘
朋友最怕聽到我醬講。哈哈。

讓我幫你‘做‘面子

I was queuing at the cashier counter at Carrefour and there's an Indian couple in front of me. But it seems like it took forever for them to pay as their action i so slow. Put the items one by one slowly on the conveyer belt, not to mention they have a full trolley of items. And they took their sweet time...

I was quite pissed off cos i was really hungry. But what made me even angrier is that how they pay. I suppose the wife is the finance controller of the family. So the wife took out her wallet and pay... but thru her husband's hand. Yup ! Every piece of note, down to the cents she took out , she'll pass it to her husband, then the husband pass it to the cashier. Isn't it a big 'extra fish'? ( 多塊魚 ) Very fun meh paying like that? Or she just want to let the husband feel important by 'paying' all the expenses?

如果印太太要為印先生‘做面子‘，不應該是在家就先給一筆錢他嗎？讓他可以理所當然的在他口帶掏錢來付。多麼有男人的尊嚴啊！還是他們在發揮他們的獨家材藝 ：算吉靈數？哈哈。


想一想，也很就沒為自己做面子了。 以前還偶而也會為自己做，但以經放棄很就了。。。

加州陽光特別好！？

我呸！
前天那州長call我，說我還沒簽form。如果沒簽的話，accounts就出不到payment給我。我問她關於form的details。她說了些standard的內容，但就有一件事是嚇我一跳的。原來加州給freelance instructor的payment是照分鐘算的。1 minute = RM1。我之前答應了他們代班，還是４５分鐘的班。等於一班才RM45！扣了parking和車油，只乘RM30+。這回真的上了賊船啦！

天啊，有夠賤價的！聽了我整個人都很沒有mood。說真的，我沒做過醬cheap的班囉。我做別的club都比他好很多！！！早前聽說最爛的payment是在‘第一‘。現在看來，第一都比加州有人性的多！還好‘真‘和‘氣‘對我們freelance instructor還不錯。不然我就真的要吃屎啦。


一山還有一山高，一club還比一club糟！
誰說加州陽光特別好？
我再呸！小心晒傷自己！

住院初體驗

I was admitted to hospital yesterday because of my gastric and vomiting problem, finally. It was quite scary for me as this is actually my first time staying in the hospital.

Did X-ray, blood test and ultrasound yesterday ( funny rite? me doing ultrasound... ;p ) Then the procedure this morning.
A bit tired to write on the details ... Just post some of the pics taken la. But one thing i hate to say ... the experience and feeling when they send you on the bed from the ward to the theatre is extremely SCARY.. looking at the ceiling lights one by one...:(

My 'dog-tag'


The room... luckily the bed is quite comfortable


I only realized the length of that needle after she pulled it out ...;(


Me, pale look wearing FW2009 latest collection...


Thanks to Mr Wong for sending me back.

p/s : Chris, Tagnan, SK, Yi & Keenyee.... it's still on ya :)

尋‘菲‘啟示

十多年前，在市面上有一張香港藝人大唱佛教‘心經‘的專集。你有聽過嗎？我的那張copy在搬家時弄不見了。很心痛。

裡頭有郭富城的跳舞版心經，有梅艷芳的豪邁版心經。還有劉德華和張學有的舒情情歌版心經。但，個人最喜歡的當然是王菲的版本。如今要聽都聽不到。找Youtube也沒有。

各為善男信女們啊，請問你們誰有那個專集？借來burn一下。好人有好報。感恩啊。


Post了大合唱的版本共大家欣賞。這比pasar malam的techno心經好聽七百五十倍噢。如果經文不適合你的話，就把它pause著。
( btw, Faye's part is after Aaron Kwok. )